Angel, you’ve got your wings now

Death is something no one wants to deal with nor know how to deal with it perfectly. Everyone has their own way of dealing at the immediate time but for others it takes a while to get through.

Last Thursday (17 October)  marked the 4 years since a beloved friend, Chanel, past away from a brain tumor.

I was in highschool at the time, just a month and a bit into my grade 11 year, and in class. I hadn’t known what happend right off the hop but intutively knew something was up (and that it wasn’t good). I mean most of the girls in my class looked upset but two or three of them were sobbing their heads off and a fourth didn’t even show.

Not that I blame her; she had gone to Chanel’s house early that morning before school only to be told that she had passed away that morning.

I may not have known her well but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t know her at all. We hung out at lunch with a large group of girls and she was literally the light and shining of our graduating class. She was always challenging me to a game of “Tap Tap” which I could never refuse.

I am unable to remember a time when she wasn’t smiling or laughing during the one and a half years that I knew her. She loved playing basketball so much that it hurt to watch her playing in gym class and have a hard time dribbling the ball or running for long periods of time. But she never gave up. She never let us go easy on her; even though you could tell that when we were having co-ed gym classes that the guys were going easy on her.

In her last months, the first two and a half months of the school year, the girls in my grade (and some of the guys) made a huge attempt to go and see her as often as we could. Some went during breaks in school (I couldn’t – my grades were terrible and breaks were spent working on homework) but for the most part our all girls gym class spent the class power walking to Chanel’s house to visit her then back to school.

There was a point where I was unable to go see her anymore. Somewhere in my heart I knew that she was going to pass away soon but I kept refusing to believe it.

Every time I saw her it was obvious that her health was rapidly going down hill in front of my eyes and the difference between visits made it hard to continue. When I wasn’t able to go visit her I heard about her continuing decline from the other girls who went to visit more. I heard about how as the tumor grew Chanel was unable to sit up by herself and she would respond to someone talking to her by squeezing their hand. Some days she wouldn’t be able to open her eyes or even smile.

By the end Chanel had slipped into a coma.

I will admit that I have not quite delt with Chanel’s passing completely even though it has been 4 years. There are nights when I will sob myself to sleep or I catch myself thinking, “This would be so Chanel.” and I have to stop to remind myself that she is not here.

Dear Chanel (a poem of sorts)

Its been four years since Heaven had its missing angel come back home.
Though here on Earth it was too soon.
You were a friend in need, when anyone needed to talk, when anyone needed a smile. We knew that you were there.

The tears we shed are not just of sorrow but of joy!
Angel, you truly deserve those wings; no one can deny.
Heck no one can deny that they were touched by an angel either – not when you were around.
You gave hope, showed strenth, had faith as deep as the sea.
You never gave up, your enthusiasm for life was fast running like a tsunami where others would get lost in it.

Everyday your arms surround us; you care for us; you watch over us.
Everyday your memory never fades.

Chanel you will always be in my heart. I miss you more than I can say.

This a Gym is not a MatchMaking Service, Dumbass.

Today was the first rowing practice that I had attended in about a week. To thank me, my body produced blisters on my hands and both my wrists are slightly sore. My right hand took a little more damage today since I can feel it starting to stiffen.

The reason for no practices in a week? There was a competition in Oklahoma and every single fucking boat went down with the competitive folks who took the time to travel to regatta. Those who were not in the competition were not impressed. Which is understandable; we pay a great deal of money to use this equipment and they take it all down with them? I suppose it doesn’t help that the RecGroup is pretty much hated by the board (except the President…she is from the RecGroup).

During the absence of the boats I went to my college’s gym and worked out there a little bit.

Now my experience with postsecondary gym facilities are less than stellar and I have my reasons on why I do not enjoy going there to workout; even if the facility is free for my use because it is a part of my tuition costs. Last year while I was in a year of university I went with two of my friends to the gym facility. Now I don’t mind a bit of attention from the male species (I’m a girl and who doesn’t like it when a guy shows some interest in you?)…but not at the gym and I definitely do not enjoy feeling all these intense stares which are geared towards my rear end or my boobs. It just gives me the hibiddy-jibbidees.

Thankfully I didn’t have to deal with the stupid male gawkers who, while I was at the city’s university last year this happened once and turned me away from the gym, liked to stare while making weird poses in an effort to show off their bodies.

Or in my friend’s case: have men trying to get her to come over and talk their way into a date (which she promptly tells them to “fuck off” nicely).

It’s not that I am self-conscious about my figure. In fact I want to go because I have the right to maintain a healthy lifestyle with the bonus of going to the gym to maintain my slim figure. I am NOT there to look for a date (I have an amazing boyfriend). If I were to go to the gym for any type of “relationship” it would be a friendship with someone who will push me in workouts. I like having a support and encouragement while working out. Even if it is, “I can do xx amount of sit ups and I bet you can’t!” Childish? Oh most certainly.

Last week I took a quick look around and deemed it Munchkin Approved.

I think the biggest reason that I like the gym facility at the College is that it is a lot smaller than the one at the University.

Its one room with all the equipment grouped and only a small amount of mirrors (that are thankfully all along one wall) for the purpose of weight training. There are also treadmills, stair climber things, and a small selection of stationary bikes. There were both stationary weight machines and free weights which I look forward to using.

Probably the biggest turn on for me with the facility was there were not many people using it. Only two other guys were using while I took my quick peek around and they acknowledged me with a nice smile nod combination before turning back to their conversation. I hope that this is the type of welcome and environment that will be continuous throughout the year because I truly enjoyed it. Those men, whoever they were, proved that not all guys at the gym want to hook up or just to be disgusting neanderthals who have more muscle than brain.

What kind of gym experiences have you encountered? While in a post secondary facility did you use the gym? Let me know the comments below!

xx Emerald Munchkin xx